Season for Gratitude...

I left off with my Gift List in December of '08, surely there are things to be thankful for in '09!



I had the joy of attending a lovely Christmas tea this past Friday evening -candlelight, twinkling trees, poinsettias, beautifully appointed tables, and lots of yummy desserts! The speaker challenged the group to spend the next four weeks keeping a gratitude-type journal, promising a great reward in attitude, perspective, even energy level. I had been planning to revisit my ongoing list, and I just so happen to be awake with the prince (no nurse tonight). So, no better time to keep track of the sweet blessings that bombard my day than 4:15 in the morning, well actually...I could think of a better time!

#150...yes, I had forgotten where I left off...
Eamon, keeping me awake tonight. This time last weekend, the prince was in the hospital with H1N1, but tonight he sleeps - intermittently, at home! He did an amazing job fighting the flu. The Drs were impressed with his strength, and believed it safer to discharge him after 24 hours to our care, not wanting him to pick-up a secondary infection in the PICU.

#151
An unexpected date with Maeve to see a Holiday show. Her dance school performed excerpts from the Nutcracker, some Hanukkah songs, and a dance set to The Night Before Christmas. She left inspired to audition next year for a part, I left with a deposit of Christmas spirit!

#152
My newest niece, Grace Marie Rogers. My big brother's 4th girl! I can't wait to meet her - planning to be an unapologetic baby-hog.

#153
The excitement, each morning, as M&M search for the latest location of our Elf on the Shelf. Their scramble to open the Advent box door to discover the day's treat. And, the understanding they already exhibit of the true meaning of Christmas!

#154
The flood of Christmas cards...brimming with news of the past year, and with pictures of those we love.

#155
Peppermint bark, cookies, and seasonal flavors at Starbucks!

One Size Does Not Fit All

I tried to squeeze my post-Thanksgiving/pre-Christmas bloated hands into adorable pink gloves that claimed to be a fit for all. Note the word squeezed. The gloves did not fit. Rarely can one-size-fit-all.

Last week, I had a surprise visit from a friend I haven't seen in apparently 3 years. She wanted to know all about Eamon, an abridged report of all we have experienced in the Prince's 22+ months. The sprint down memory lane forced me to retell the story and be reminded, again, that clearly God knows that one-size is not the right fit. His grace, which incidentally is the theme of our Eamon adventure, is customized. Perfectly molded for each circumstance and new each day. It never loses staying power. It is completely divine. A miracle.

So many are hurting. Cancer looms, death knocks, sickness robs, betrayal stings, finances scare. Sincere pray waiting to be answered. And yet, it is. Grace. Allowing human hearts to rise above what would otherwise destroy. Hearts able to be at peace and experience joy in its simplest, most profound form. That is Grace. Strength that defies - Grace. Vision that can see "plan B" might just be the real plan. Being in the eye of the storm - Grace.

So when asked, "How do you do it - be Eamon's mom?" The answer is I don't, it is all Grace. I couldn't read an other's script. This grace is customized for my "broken road".

Customized-Grace, my number 149!

Glimpses...

from around our house, and reasons to be thankful this season.

Breakfast, Barclay-style, sunglasses and suited up for a pirate adventure because that's just the way we roll. (Number 141)

The reality of trying to get your children to pose.

(Number 142)

Love of another kind!

(Number 143)

My very own Pilgrims.

(Number 144)

Maeve rehearsing Psalm 100.

(Number 145)

The most wonderful time of year. Not really a tree farm, but M&M thought as long as the trees were up on the stand, we were cutting it down. Works for us!

(Number 146)

That face, love it!

(Number 147)

Eamon, laughing all the way, ha-ha-ha!

(Number 148)

Eamon's shirt, I Believe, true in so many ways.

We believe in the sweet wonder of Christmas.

We believe that Eamon is our gift in any season.

We believe that God has a plan for the prince.

We believe in the power of prayer.

We believe Eamon will continue to strengthen.

We believe that God is good, regardless.

Endless Thanks

On the eve of Thanksgiving, traditionally a night that hosts church services solely designed to give thanks, I want to cultivate a heart of gratitude.

Throughout my days I encounter many moments where God seems to give me a "wink" but I am not always quick to jot it down, or type as the case may be. Inevitably, I forget those specific "winks". And so the Gift List, intentionally looking for and documenting reasons for my joy.

If I was able to attend such a service dedicated to praise this is what I would have to offer:

133. Impromptu lunch with my friend and our children. Our shared history makes conversation possible above the chaos that naturally ensues when little ones and alarming child are involved.

134. Missing my family -odd intro to this gift, but Mimi and Papa are out of town for the holiday. So even though I might still have been with David's family - something just doesn't feel right. It's good to miss people sometimes because it reminds you of the blessing of closely located family. I don't want to take that luxury for granted.

135. Thanksgiving Chapel Service at M&M's school this morning. Children singing praises, reading God's word, and leading those attending by example set the tone for this holiday season.

136. The Thanksgiving Prayer Walk that followed chapel. It was a small gathering of parents that walked from the flagpole to 7 identified locations around the school building praying for our children and their teachers. It was such a sacred assembly because God clearly is found when two or more gather in His name.

137. My little ones excitedly preparing for a reader's theater presentation they will spring on the family at our celebration tomorrow. Complete with pilgrim hats and props.

138. Eamon's contagious smile, warming my heart with each breathy laugh.

139. A new seat for the prince, albeit a loaner, allowing him to join us at the Thanksgiving table. Sitting up, soaking in all the sights and smells. Laughing, I'm sure, all the while.

140. Days off to decorate, a tradition for the Barclay 5 to deck the halls the day after we feast. And, a little extra exercise to assuage our guilt.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Building Cathedrals

My sweet cousin, Deirdre, sent me a video clip, The Invisible Woman. I found it to inspire what I endeavor to do, and remind me of all the wonderful mothers I am so blessed to know.



My ongoing gift list needs to include the many women who have shaped me, who have built when they thought no one was looking, and who continue to encourage me through my days. Number 131, my mom, thank you for pouring your life out - I hope to be a Cathedral worthy of your sacrifice.


And to all the other women (number 132), who set out to live selflessly, you point me to a better walk. My baby cathedrals are affected by your influence. So "with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees," I offer my gratitude.

Mystic or Bust

We headed north over the weekend to Mystic, Ct. The weather cooperated Saturday and was beautiful on Sunday!

Our first stop was the Mystic Aquarium. Beluga whales, sea lions, sting ray touch tanks and more! The kids loved it.

True to character, Maeve has found her latest future occupation - Beluga Whale Trainer Extraordinaire! The girl has plans - big plans.

Myles seems content to enjoy the marine life from a healthy distance. Oh, that smile!

While Eamon and I watched from a safe perch, our M&Ms fearlessly touched, even pet, the African Millipede. Myles wondered what was moving around on its back. Oh, no worries, just mites. Apparently, not the type to come home as a souvenir.

After a nice dinner, we ducked in for an early night. The kids loved staying in our first class accommodations - HoJo, Mystic style!

Then a bright start for the seaport. Beautiful views of the Mystic River were the backdrop of our day. Eamon strolled peacefully enjoying the scenery.

Maeve found her pleasure craft of choice.

Myles found his! He comes from the school of Bigger is Better!

And, I found mine.

We played.

And, built toy boats. Myles was open to Daddy's input for general design and craftsmanship.

While Maeve opted to create solo.

It was fun to be away, no beds to make or meals to prepare. The fun memories made are certainly number 131 on my Gift List.

Leaving Room for God

Quite a bit of time has passed since I have added to my Gift List. There is so much to be thankful for, God shows up every day, all day, if only I would slow down to recognize Him.

"Always be in a state of expectancy,
and see that you leave room for God to come in as He likes."

Oswald Chambers

121. The Ripple Effect: Mary Crilly's legacy. One girl enriching lives and spreading joy long after she has taken her last breathe.

122. A day at the park with an incredible view!

123. Knowledge being passed down: Big brother, Myles, sharing his passion for cars with Eamon.

124. Maeve's excitement to have me in her classroom.

125. Time away.

126. Eamon turning toward our voice.

127. Myles' giggle.

128. Kids : their chatter, performances, skipping, and general merriment. Our neighborhood has turned over in the past year. There are 17 children now, most under the age of 6. At any given time, I can look out a window and catch a glimpse of childhood.

129. The Fall - sights, smells, tastes, and the coolness. I just love, love, love the Fall!

130. A sense of purpose. Knowing God has equipped you for your particular path. And, beginning to embrace it even though it is different

Gift List from the Sea

1,000 Gift List continued


114. My morning walk on the beach. I love that time of day - quiet, peaceful, and refreshing. I can sing, loudly, whatever is playing on my Ipod. My prayers are carried on the wind. I actually feel closer to God, able to see a glimpse of his greatness as I look out into the vast sea. Even my confessions, words I would not speak to others, find their place. Freeing me.


115. As I walked back up from the beach I could see my brother Tim on our balcony. He lives in DC so it was a treat to see his face early in the morning. Any news or sighting of my little brother brings a smile to my face, and I guess it always will!


116. Vacation has allowed us a quick revisit to our youth. Thursday night, all my siblings (and their families) were under mom and dad's roof.


117. Bike riding with my husband, Maeve and Myles. This island is laced with paths. A great view of golf courses, lagoons, all sorts of wildlife, and it offers a bit of exercise to counteract my many indulgences. We rented bikes that have the child's bike attached. This afternoon, I loved seeing my little Myles pedaling so hard behind his big daddy. Both Maeve and Myles were screaming in delight at the sights and speed.

Post Card Series - Volume 5

Something a little different - a picture-less post card. Just thought I'd shake things up, or maybe I forgot to charge the battery for my camera. Either way, fun was had and pictures in my mind are set to shape new memories.

The sun did indeed shine and we were able to swim in various pools and run around on the beach. I have my first sunburn. Note to self: Irish girls must reapply often when in water for hours!

Finally Papa's dream of fishing with his grandchildren came true. The poles were rented, bait set, and within 3 minutes we heard the first, "Did I catch anything yet?!" Followed two minutes later with, "I'm bored!" At one point, I moved across the pond to another dock. I thought a new location might trick the fish. I look out to see the only fishermen left were Papa, Aunt Erica, and me. I suggested we go for a swim. This scene has already ripened with age, and we are all remembering a great time.

True to form, Myles jumped in most of the day and Maeve collected more shells. There are 4 new crabs living amongst us now. Maeve's Rainbow and the girls' have 3 of their own. We are all under one roof tonight. The crabs are really active and prone to escape. Lord help us!

To watch the kids roam freely on the beach, wind blowing their hair, laughter being raised is surely heaven on earth! I am so thankful for our first week, and looking forward to the next two! Number 113 on my Gift List .

PS - I am currently charging everything!

Post Card Series - Volume 2

Rain, a lot, this afternoon. Amazing, on vacation not even the rain can get you down! We spent time chatting, shopping, reading, playing, and eating.


Rocking on the porch with Papa.

A little friend from South Beach

Just before dinner at Crazy Crab

Eamon reaching out during dinner -"Hush puppies! Where's Mine!"

The picture quality is debatable -but it's Greg Russell!!!!!

Oh, for those of you who are unfamiliar, he is a legend - at least in HH!

Same jokes, same songs, same place (under the Liberty Oak Tree in Harbor Town), same fun - comfort food for the soul!

Myles and Brigit sat right in front with big plans to sing.

Much to Myles dismay, he didn't get picked -

"Twinkle, Twinkle" will have to wait until tomorrow night!

Watching the kids sing, use hand motions, and laugh was a perfect end to our day!

We have been vacationing in Hilton Head for 20 plus years. It is our Home, far away from Home. We just love this place - memories relived now through our children. That is surely Gift List worthy! Number 112 - "in my mind I'm going to Carolina...".

Lessons I'm Learning Along the Road - Part 2

Choices

I received a phone call last night from a mom I met at M&M's gym class. She wanted to apologize for her perceived insensitivity of me. Let me explain. Her son has many sensory and tone issues. He usually needs an adult with him during class for assistance, but recently is feeling confident to explore alone. Yesterday, he did a somersault - first ever. He jumped up, eyes searching for his mom - and together they cheered. He in the gym, she at my side through the observation glass. Tears followed. This mom was so moved by her son's accomplishment that her emotion overtook her, and she reacted in the most genuine mom way. She was concerned that her excitement was insensitive to how I must be feeling because of Eamon's situation. I assured her that her reaction was most appropriate, and that I recently had a similar experience with Eamon - the belly laughing.

This reminded me that for many people our "situation" seems quite difficult. And sometimes, it is. But, the greater part of our time is spent rejoicing over the beauty we see in and through Eamon's life. I have found that God gives us what we need for each day, plenty of common grace. But, what is required of me is the choice. I have to decide to trust, decide to believe, decide to be joy-full. And when I do, when I decide to count on God - He meets me, every time. And it's immediate. I might toil over the choice, time wasted there, but God's response is always immediate. He has yet to fail me.

The Box

I am a think-inside-the-box-kind of girl. Life in general, and in particular with Eamon, requires some outside the box experiences. David and I have contemplated sending the video clip of Eamon laughing to one of the high-risk Dr's we had when I was pregnant. She clearly questioned our "commitment to the pregnancy" and was certain that death was the "fetus's" only future. And so, here you have our little man, laughing in the face of all that was pronounced over him. Life existing outside the box that she placed him in. Life, different from all she knew it could be. Life abundant and full - outside the box. As a matter of fact, blowing the top right off!

And then there is our knowledge of God. How can we explain Him and His ways? They too do not fit into my neatly lined-up boxes. His ways and thoughts are so much higher than mine. I read recently, who would want to worship a God who can be fully comprehended? One limited by my capacity to create. He is I am - what does that mean? To me, it means He is in all of it: the pain, struggle, and tears; and, the miracles and wonders, peace that passes understanding, and the joy unspeakable. He is with us and for us. Always working all things together for our good and to make his glory known.

Gift List continued

111. Encounters with God - in or out of the box!

Beginnings

David and I celebrated our anniversary on Sunday - 12 years married + 5 years dating = half my lifetime! We spent a night away at an Inn on Greenwood Lake. Eamon joined us. It was a complete pleasure to have him along - he is good company, especially now that he is laughing. We treasure every moment with our little man! David and I were able to simply laugh, and delight in time spent together.

I found the excitement Maeve and Myles were exhibiting to be contagious! They were counting the days until their respective sleepovers (Maeve to Mimi's, Myles to Grandma's), but more importantly to the big day. They were consumed with knowing the details of our beginnings. We looked through our photo album and watched the video. Myles gave up by the end of the ceremony, but perked up for the Macarena - Uncle Jeff looked pretty impressive on the dance floor! We all laughed and cried as we looked back to where it all began. And I realized how significant this celebration was for our children. August 10, 1996 is where the "Barclay 5" story began, their story. And so we thought it fitting to take our M&Ms out for a special dinner the eve of our anniversary.

Maeve and Myles love steak - so we dined at Ruth's Chris Steak House over looking the Hudson River with such a view of the city. Maeve and I primped for some time, carefully choosing our dresses and accessories. The boys, meanwhile, played ball in the yard and dressed within 5 minutes. We enjoyed sharing a toast (or two, or three, or four - everyone had something to say). Maeve was taking notes on what exactly is involved in a romantic dinner : atmosphere, lighting, music, delighted senses, and of course, great company.

I think we may have started a tradition - August 9th, the eve of our anniversary, and a celebration of beginnings. Here's to the Barclay 5!


Gift List:

110. Our 12th anniversary. I'd still say YES!

"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be"

Laughter is Good Medicine

*Updated! Yeah, thanks to my neighbor I was able to add the video. Be patient, it takes Eamon a bit to warm up!

Unmistakable laughter. What a gift for us to hear and see the joy Eamon is experiencing. Knowing that our little man is connecting to the people and things around him is completely satisfying to this mom and dad!

This is new for Eamon. It is like the first time your newborn clearly responds - only a little later than usual for us. For a long time Eamon did not smile, let alone laugh; and I was OK with it for me, but I so wanted it for him - that expression of pleasure. Now however, I am spoiled and a bit addicted to his funny ways. I need the interaction, and am eternally grateful to be front-row-center to such an explosion of development for Eamon!

"The joy of the Lord is your strength." (Ne 8:10) - Eamon's and ours!

Number 109 on my Gift List - Laughter.

This is a quick video of the little mister working the crowd. Well, his dad.

A teaser, I can not seem to get the clip to upload. I'll try again.

Whatever!

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Philippians 4:8

Each night as I tuck Maeve in she asks that I pray for her dreams. I always pray that her thoughts, as she sleeps, would focus on all the attributes listed above. So tonight, as I write, I remind myself to do the same. I could tell of the myriad of hassles that occurred, or my frustrations with this and that, or concerns that lay on my heart; but instead I will think on what is good.

Yesterday evening, Maeve and Myles were playing a variety of sports in the yard. Play had moved to the front, and they needed me to hose down their b-ball court - I don't know what for, but I obliged. As I was spraying, I allowed my wayward hose to catch Myles by surprise. He complained, "Now my clothes are all wet!" To which I responded, "So," and sprayed him again. Well, Maeve got involved, Myles decided this was a great idea, and within 3 minutes I had two drenched kids rearing to go. A quick change into bathing suits, a sprinkler set up, and what followed was pure joy - for us both!

Summertime-sprinkler-fun is number 108 on my Gift List!

Thankful Tuesday!

Gift List, continued...

103. Younger brothers, Timothy in my case. I was remiss in mentioning his participation in our get away last weekend. Tim rearranged his beach plans to visit with us at Jerry's. We had dinner, conversation, lots of laughing, and a slumber party. My children are delighted by his antics, and I relish our time together! I Love you, Tim!

104. My Aunt Kathy. We chatted on the phone today. My heart is full with such warm memories. She is a great aunt, a favorite really! I just love spending time with her, talking and laughing and sharing life. I only hope my own nieces and nephews think of me so affectionately.

105. Kid talk. I love some of their mispronunciations. I never correct them, because I know soon enough they will get it right. Some of my current favorites: Maeve asking for some delicious "dress steak" = skirt steak; Maeve and Myles asking to go to "Garamus Park" = Paramus Park; Myles wanting to use his "lan-ter-in" = lantern, in the yard. I think I might just write a post on the phrases for posterity.

106. Rites of passage. Sunday, Grandma, Aunt Lisa, Emma, Maeve, and I went into the City to visit The American Girl Place. Beautiful dolls with every accessory conceivable. Floors of them actually. Clothes, furniture, pets, books about the dolls. Even a hair salon for the girls and dolls. It was so thrilling to watch Maeve and Emma, all a twitter, getting their treasures. Aren't girls fun!

106. Tonight, after dinner, my dad played ball in the yard with Maeve and Myles. My children are blessed to have all their grandparents living in the same town. I love that on a Tuesday night, Papa is available. I didn't have my camera, but the picture is printed on my heart.

107. Eamon's laugh is expanding. Lately, we have been getting not just one "Ha", but two even three in succession. All this sounds like belly laughing to us!

And Away We Go...

Last Saturday, we set off to visit my brother Jerry and his family. They live in Maryland, about a half hour from DC and an hour from the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. We thought we would capitalize on such great real estate and visit the sights. What fun we had! Our children would have been thrilled just to be with their cousins - the places we went, were simply the gravy!


Our first day, we went to the Natural History Museum. Maeve was awed by the Hope Diamond and gem collection, Myles was delighted by the dinosaurs. After lunch, we headed for the Air and Space Museum. Planes, rockets, and a simulator - joy was abounding! A stop in a secret garden with monuments in sight topped it off.



Day two, a drive to the National Zoo. The home of the pandas - "Impossible!" reported Myles, "They live in the hills of China." How do they know this stuff, anyway there were a family of pandas and we were able to see them snooze. Home for some late afternoon lunch and swimming. All six children finally asleep, and it's movie night for the adults. We laughed, sitting around in some form of PJ's, how great to indulge in an adult slumber party!

Our last morning, lingering over coffee and some home cooked-greatness my sister-in-law served up, and it was off to the Aquarium in Baltimore. Stingrays, sharks, cow fish and more. Eamon was given special treatment, we could keep the stroller and use the elevator. Oh, the perks! Truly a good time was had by all. I am so thankful for family whose presence is the reward. #102 on my gift list!

And, back to NJ. Eamon did so well. Driving four hours was a concern O2 wise. But, we have arranged his seat in such a way to allow great respiration while testing the limits of car seat safety. It's a balancing act. He was adored by the five other children - lots of kisses, hugs, chatting, toy demonstrations, and whatever else they could muster up. Eamon was just soaking it all up and performing on command.

(That's Eamon, behind the crowd!)

Wednesday we rested, and played a little mini golf, a first for the Barclay children. Eamon did not love this activity - too hot! To bed early for the grand finale on Thursday!

Great Adventure! The safari was amazing. Lions and tigers and bears, oh, my - and, mostly not in cages. Maeve screamed for most of the hour we drove. Highlights: an elephant atop a rock scratching his "tush"; baby giraffes, zebras and ostrich; the lion king playing with his harem; kangas running/jumping; bear family at work and play, white tigers, and baboons doing what they do.

And then, rides and rides, interspersed with a Wiggles' show, Dolphin show, Tiger show, and then more rides! Oh, the fun. Maeve and Myles went on a real roller coaster, which meant I went on twice - David was all "rided out"! As a special note and nod to my brave husband, David, who went on his first roller coaster ride, ever! Albeit, a Looney Tune one. He claims it was exhilarating, and to have seen his face - just pure joy mixed with anxiety - priceless!

What a great week. Maeve and Myles are still reeling. Thank you Jerry, Erica, Brigit, Claire, and Madeline for your hospitality! We now have a two week break before our trip to South Carolina. We are praying that Eamon will be ready for such a long drive!