Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Our Worth

Eamon's chair, the chair, has arrived. Long anticipated, grossly overdue.

It is called a Kid Kart, promising custom-support for the Prince. Our insurance does not cover it, and so, graciously Mary's Fund has offered to gift Eamon with hope-in-a-seat.

Certainly, there are many features of the chair/stroller option that will enhance Eamon's ability to participate in everyday-living-type experiences. We are still tweaking, making adjustments for comfort both in the chair - and, truth be told, in us.

The chair is great, but it comes at a cost. Literally, a price tag that could choke had it not been for Mary, precious Mary. And, for us our new normal changes again. The seating/stroller I have are outgrown, but comfortable. They are all the right size, drawing minimal attention, fitting neatly in my car, and carried about with ease. That has changed. I know this feeling is temporary, soon this will be normal and fit quite well - just like any addition of equipment before. But change, for better or worse, costs something.




Eamon, saddled up and ready to go, well not really- the stroller base is in my car.







Checking out his new toy courtesy of his Fairy Godmother




Me, checking Eamon out. Precious.



This month happens to celebrate the Sanctity of Human Life - a month set apart to honor life in all its shapes and sizes. When I think of Eamon, and Mary, I am reminded that not everyone shares my deep regard for all life. Eamon is not like other children, and in my womb that recognition caused a bit of tension between some Drs and us.

We were asked, somewhat brutally, how committed to such a pregnancy we were. Even after explaining our position, the question was revisited over-and-over. I can appreciate the need to be sure I had all the information, and options, available. But after that point was made, repeatedly, I would have liked to move on without the pallor of judgement that remained.

We live in a disposable society - if something does not work, throw it away. To many, Eamon would have fit such a category. Our value is measured in contribution and productivity, right? But, knowing that each human life, its essence, is imprinted with the image of God alters my view. We were, and still are, able to rest in the belief that God has chosen to display His splendor in and through our little man. Our value, or worth, was set by God. And He said we were worth the cross. Yes, Eamon was worth God's son. There it is. Set.

I am thankful that long before there was a thought of Eamon, I had already wrestled with a decision that would be asked of me years later. There was no need for deliberation. I knew the instant the question arose. "Yes, we are all the way committed to this baby!"

As I continue on my mom-journey, I realize more and more that our ideas of perfection are highly overrated! True perfection is only defined by our Creator. And He does all things well.

7 comments:

grandma carole said...

Tracy,
God has given you such a beautiful gift of sharing HIS heart. If Eamon's contribution and productivity were measured, he would outshine and far exceed anyone I know. When he laughs, he brings such joy. When he smiles, he brings hope and when you look into his eyes,you see the image of Jesus and it brings such peace. He has already touched so many lives and will continue to do so. I can only imagine how many will come to know and see Jesus thru our little man. We are so blessed as a family to have been given such a "perfect miracle". Can't wait to see God's plan for Eamon's life. It was no mistake that God placed him with the "perfect" Mom, Dad,brother and sister. Thank you Jesus for loving us so much.

Becky said...

There just are no words that can complete my thoughts such as Carole has said in her post here. Truer words couldn't be more spoken, and Eamon is a precious, amazing little man of God with whom I expect great miracles to be seen far and wide. I remember talking to Lisa C. recently about Mary Therese, and her words were the same as Carole's and that she saw Jesus in her daughter's eyes. That in itself makes both of their lives valuable-- and we are all blessed to be around Eamon's joy and peace. I LOVE the chair, by the way- it's awesome!! Praying that your family adjusts quickly to the new addition.

Superhero Mom said...

And a true work of art is your little prince! He is so beautiful Tracy! All of your children are! Grandma Carole is so right...even from a distance...Jesus is so clearly seen in your little boy! Thank you Lord!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful !!!

Momma-of-5 said...

Again...well said! You really are gifted with words, Tracy!

(p.s. You got a little hug on my blog)

ginny said...

Eamon couldn't be more wonderful or perfect in our eyes ! We love you all , - hope David is feeling better and out of the basement !

Sara said...

Tracy,
When I was pregnant with the twins, at our 20 week ultrasound they found that Maddie had a cyst in her brain and also bright intestines. Both apparently are markers for some bleak prospects including Downs Syndrome to just name one. When I was pregnant with Jason in my 34th week it was apparent that I had poly-hydramia (too much amniotic fluid) and that Jason's head was too large which led the dr.'s to believe that hey had hydra-cephalis (sp?). Both pregnancies I opted not to have an amnio as the risk for infection so late in Jason's pregnancy and miscarriage with the twins was too high. I left in in God's hands. Prayed and cried a lot. I cannot tell you how many times I had to tell doctors and genetic counselors that we were fully prepared to love whomever our child was. They never stopped asking and even went so far as to tell me that we were being irresponsible. How sad that so many people in this world miss the blessings that God has given them. The potential for personal growth and a fount of love so deep within lies in every miracle child. Thank you for sharing so openly about your journey. Much love and prayers to you.